Why I write ...

I haven't posted in a while. This time of year just seems to eat me alive with plans, shopping, budgeting, working, and everything in between. I seem to have to do everything and can't seem to do anything right. It's tiring and my blogging drops off everywhere. But I found a moment to post thing on a mailing list in response to a question on why people blog. I decided to post it up here...

Why do I blog?

My blog started out as a way to keep in contact with my many friends around the city when I lived in Melbourne, Australia. It was kind of a gimicky thing at first, but we used to talk about ourselves and be silly and arrange meet ups and such. Later on, it evolved into a writing space where I wrote about my daily life, especially how I was feeling and my family back home in the US read it and kept up on what I was doing with my life because I'm shocking with replying to emails. Unfortunately, it also, for a while, degenerated into a war space where many fights ensued and we played games with what we wrote simply to hurt each other's feelings. But that stopped a long long time ago.

Now that I am back in the US, I write in it so my friends in Australia can keep up with my life here. And I read theirs so that I can keep up with what they are doing. And the comment feature keeps replies manageable. I couldn't keep up with a dozen individual emails and then replies to those and so on and so forth. My friends leave comments, I answer them, etc.

It's also a timeline of my last 8 years, much of which I lived in Australia and the friendships I've had and lost, my first marriage which I had and lost, and the steps I've taken to get through it and on with my life. It's filled with memories, written at the time and I can go back and read it and thumb through it, remembering things that made me laugh or cry and the people who interacted with what I wrote and left me encouraging comments. I know that paper journals do much of the same thing, but I love the community feel of having a blog and knowing when I need feedback someone out there will have something to say.

I don't post quite as much as I used to... it's hard when what you most want to talk about is your work and you can't because there is all kinds of confidential crap that goes along with working in a health care setting, so I find other things to write about. :D I also know that what I write about is trite and of no significant value to anyone but me, but that's what's important about MY blog. It's important to me! :)

I'm taken back to a quote I heard a long time ago and I don't know who said it but it goes something like this ... Your journal is the place where your opinion on the world matters.

And that's why I write.

Happy Holidays to everyone! See you in 2010.

Thankfulness

I decided to wait this week in order to post on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day in the United States. This is a day that has always had special meaning for me because every eight years my birthday falls on this day. This year wasn't one of those times, I still have another three years, but I'm still considered to have a 'Thanksgiving' birthday.

I unfortunately had to work so I wasn't able to join the rest of my family for their big Turkey dinner hosted by my aunt and uncle, but I did get to see them briefly when I dropped by husband and child off. I was presented with a pilgrim hat made with a peanut butter cup, girlscout cookie, and frosting by my cousin for the road. It was so cute.

Needless to say, this entry is about what I am thankful for.

First off, my husband, child, mother, and step-father ... he infuriates me more often than not, but my husband tries in his own little ways and I think I need to be more aware of that. My baby will always be my baby, no matter how big or smart she gets. Any my parents, I would not have made it without them here. They give so much.

My job ... There are so many people in this economy that are suffering and have lost their jobs. For a while there, I was so afraid that my job too was on the chopping block as things were being evened out and cut back in our place of work. But there is a huge necessity to my position, and I'm thankful I am still here.

My car ... it's working and it's reliable. It's not the best, and I've put a lot of money into it recently to keep it that way, but it'll get me through the winter and then some.

Okele and Shadow ... I could not get through each day without them. They are both very very far away from me and yet, they are both always there and I can count on that. Other people have drifted in and out of my life and they have both remained constant.

Crafts and art ... it's such a stress relief and I make time to do it. The finished product is what keeps me going and I look forward to hearing what people think of the gifts I make for them.

The roof over my head and the utilities that make my place liveable ... I could not imagine getting through this winter not being sure where I am going to be sleeping the next night and if it will be warm or not.

I wish everyone a wonderful holiday season from now until New Years. Until next week, have a great one.

Weeks in Review

So I skipped a week... didn't necessarily mean to, but things got a little hectic and I found some artwork I wanted to do and a new project I'd like to start working on... and Christmas Shopping. Oh I did so much!

Anyways, what I'd like to do here is a recap of some of the recent posts I've made ...

ACNE

I believe I have won the war. I did a good trial run with the products I originally had and saw a significant change in my face. I added the Neutrogena Acne Stress Control Night Cleansing Pads to my night routine and immediately saw further results. I skipped one night and didn't do my regular routine and I had one breakout. Seriously, I am so surprised it worked, but what I have learned that you can buy as many spot treatments or cleansers as you want, but nothing will do the trick until you use the correct products together as a team. And it's guess and check to find what's right for your face!

SEASON ENDINGS

The leaves are gone and it's getting cold. Too cold even for my little one to outside without a hat. Heavy jackets will be coming out soon. We got our first snowfall just after Thanksgiving last year, so I'm sure it's right around the corner. The car is all fixed up and ready. I'd love an extra few months of mild fall weather... seriously.

H1N1

Both my husband and I were immunized. I was offered it at work due to being on a high risk unit and immediately accepted with no severe side effects. My husband was offered it at his latest clinic appointment for the reasons he works with handicapped individuals and he is asthmatic. He had no side effects. My daughter got her seasonal flu shot, but was only granted eligiblity for H1N1 this week, but she has a rattly cough so it might have to be put off for another few days. After a number of kids died from it in our local area and others falling severely ill, her not having it scares me more and more every day.

Where am I

Art Therapy of my own making has ALWAYS been a HUGE saving grace for me. I have since talked many things over with my husband and extended family that have been bothering me. I have been spending more time doing crafts and relaxing that I have in a long time and that has really been helping my stress level. I feel so much better now and ... happier. I am working on some projects with some friends of mine and those partnerships do wonders for my mental health. It's good to have some support!

Dipping

I failed. I made it about 5 days and on the fifth, I realized that I had a nearly full jar of White Salsa Con Queso in the fridge and I didn't want it to go off, so I ate it. But still ... it made me more aware of how much and what I dip, what I don't need to and I have really cut down. Now I wish I could tackle weight loss in the same manner. :D

That's all for me. See you next week and have a great one!

The Art of Dipping

And now for something a little less serious this week.

Dipping.

A person can't get anything these days without a side of ... dip. At home, we keep bottles of condiments in our fridges to dip everything from fruit to meat to desserts. At restaurants, it either comes with a little container of meal related condiment or you can make your way to the fountain drink area to find little foil packets of everything under the sun.

At McDonalds the other day, my daughter's happy meal came with caramel dip for the apple slices and I was offered a choice of dips for her nuggets... when asked what they had, the server behind the counter rattled off about six, most of which I forgot moments after she said them, and then decided ketchup in it's little foil packet would do. She likes ketchup anyways.

At Red Lobster a few weeks ago, the fish came with tartare sauce, the crab legs with melted butter, the salads with your choice of salad dressing in a little cup on the side, for pouring or dipping depending on the diner's choice.

Buffalo Wild Wings offers around 14 different buffalo wing sauces for their wings, which also serve as dips if you prefer something other than mini chicken wings. My husband bought a bottle of his favorite flavor to take home... Why? To dip his steak in.

Waffles and pancakes come with their own little container of breakfast syrup. Small packets of crackers or breadsticks have dippable cheese. Pizza Hut serves a side of marinara dip with their breadsticks.

Sushi comes with soy sauce and wasabi.

Chip Dip ... ranch, french onion, nacho, spinach... We have an old family recipe in our family for cream cheese potato chip dip with onions. And a friend of mine used to bring over a wonderful eggplant dip with pita chips. And lets not forget good old hummus or if you prefer, Guacamole with your corn chips. I spent thirty minutes the other night trying to decide on the right dip for my corn chips. I settled for a white salsa con queso nacho dip, good but a little too spicey for my taste.

I am a mayonaise-a-holic. If it's dippable, there is mayonaise on my plate.

Vegetable trays come with dill sour cream dip. Fruit trays with vanilla or fruit flavored yogurt.

How about bread dipped in your soup or stew?

Wiki of course has many more than I can think of off the top of my head. I only remembered the ones I've eaten in the past two weeks. But seriously, all this in the past two weeks? Clearly, dipping is more than just a condiment, it's a necessity!

You can't escape it.

Here is a funny tidbit of information... I met my husband at a fondue party. Fondue is an art of dipping!

Even a the age of two, my child requests dip, so much so that I put a dob of ketchup on her plate with every meal now before she even asks.

Dip. Empty calories full of flavor and fat and salt.

I think here, the ultimate question is ... can we eat foods without dipping them? I think some, yes. Salad dressing isn't exactly a dip, although it is used as one here where I live. Ranch being the most popular, it is not only a salad dressing, but a dip for things like breadsticks and deep fried or baked cheese. A couple of guys I knew in high school used to dip their pizza in ranch.

But back to my salad ... I dislike the taste of oil and vinegar based salad dressings such as italian. I think it stems from the tartness/sourness of the vinegar and a long history of hating the smell of vinegar when they used to can pickles at my grandmother's house. So I quit having salad dressing on my salad and went for a straight dash of olive oil, lemon juice, and some pepper. Which clearly goes to show that even if I don't like a particular dressing for the salad, I still need something on it to make it a bit more palatable. Something to bring all the flavors together.

I do like raw veggies, but there is something about being able to dip the veggie that turns good food into even better food. But you have to ask yourself, if raw veggies are good for you, aren't you defeating the purpose of eating healthy food by dipping it in the sour cream or ranch dip with all it's salt, fat, and sugar?

Probably.

But I suppose that doesn't mean we are going to stop dipping. In fact, we'll probably do it more. As soon as we know something is bad for us, we feel guilty but we do it anyways.

I wonder if I can go a whole week without dipping? I'm not sure, but I think I'll try. I wonder if I can even remember that I set this challenge for myself given that it's 0600 in the morning and I've not been to bed yet. The joys of working night shift.

Tune in next week for a blog post recap of some of the more interesting points of the past few weeks since I started this blog and of course, whether not I followed through on my challenge not to dip for a week.

Finding me again ...

I'm not feeling my best today. A family member thinks I am suffering from depression. Which she is probably right, but I am afraid of going to see a doctor or counseler even though I know it's a good idea because there are a few things I really don't want them to tell me to do. And the truth is, I really need to focus on me and only me for a few weeks. Not that I am going to forget my family, but my needs have to come first. I have to realized that I am not just a mother and a wife... I am me too. I have things that I love and aspire to do!

Reading the posts of those blogs I am following, I came across this from fellow blogger Rollerwriter ... I hope it's okay to repost because it's SO DAMN INSPIRATIONAL.

And starting Nov 1, I am going to attempt to do the eight things she lists here.

Next week I will be back to my regularly scheduled thoughts on a topic.

Passing it on ...

WARNING: Before you follow any links, keep the tissues handy.

Sorry, this post is late as I am on vacation. I had two topics to pick from that I wanted to blog about this week, nothing of particular note, but some observations I've had over the past few months. But then today, while reading a magazine, I revisited Josie King, a toddler who died from a medical error at Johns Hopkins University in 2001 and the ensuing crusade by her mother to prevent it happening again to other families. The story was recently relayed at our hospital, and while I am not involved in direct patient care, being a mother of a small child the story really touched my heart.

Josie was 18 months old… In January of 2001 Josie was admitted to Johns Hopkins after suffering first and second degree burns from climbing into a hot bath. She healed well and within weeks was scheduled for release. Two days before she was to return home she died of severe dehydration and misused narcotics…

Sorrel King, Josie's Mother, relays the rest of the story here.

And the main Josie King Foundation Website is here.

Why do I bring this up? Because thousands of people die from medical errors every year. The Foundation provides information to help prevent it from happening to you or one of your family members and I have always believed knowledge is the best weapon.

Have a safe and healthy week. And get your H1N1 flu shot. :)

Touching Lives

I finish one post and have usually decided on what I want to write for the next week. I start the week pondering how I want to write said post and then over the course of the next few days change my mind on what I want to write about due to the experiences I have. That is where I get this week's topic ...

I had a horrible week, so much happened beyond my control, some of it trivial and some of it that will leave a lasting impression on me for the rest of my life. No one died, thankfully. Midway through all this chaos, I was 'touched by an Angel'. And no, I'm not talking about the corny tv show type angel, but a stranger who noticed something I had posted on my profile on another website I belong to about my financial state and thought to send me a HUGE box of craft goodies just so I could have a 'fun box to open'. While what I wrote on my other profile and the reason I was the sent the box of goodies weren't related directly to my chaotic week, it still came at the most opportune time.

And it got me thinking about other things I have received that have touched me.

One particular person that comes to mind with regards to giving was an old boss of mine. He was both very needy and very generous. When he was in the office, he couldn't do anything for himself. He had the most kind personal assistant who was so patient with his neediness because he seemed not to be able to do anything for himself. But when he went away on business trips, he would always come back with presents for all of us in the office. And it amazed me how much he paid attention to our likes and dislikes because I never received anything that wasn't directly related to something I was obcessed about at the time. Most of what he gave me I no longer have, but I have kept a few small mementos and trinkets to remind me of his generosity.

Another friend of mine LOVES to write letters. I have so many letters from her that I refuse to throw away because each one is so special. When she sends those letters, she usually includes cute Kawaii paper and stickers and just other little presents that fit in the envelope. So you're always getting more than just a letter.

My best friend since High School is constantly on the look out for things I would like... not because I ask her to, it's simply because that is who she is. She only lives a few hours away from me but we rarely get to see one another, so we send emails mostly, but we also send boxes once a month filled with little goodies and things. Over the years, I haven't been able to keep 100% of what she's given to me due to space restrictions and moving, but even sitting here in my kitchen, I look around and see a dozen things that were sent from her.

I have a few bits and pieces from old boyfriends and many things from my first wedding that hold sentimental value even though my first husband and I are no longer together. I don't have much left from high school, most of it discarded or lost in moves. If I look deep enough into my memento boxes, I can still find things from college, so many years ago now.

But what happens when things go awry and a relationship ends, be it a close friend or a significant other? I guess I'm one of those people who likes to hold on to happy memories. I'm not the type to trash or burn everything from a former friend or SO simply because they are out of my life. I'll look at old cinema stubs of films I went to see with the person, smile, and remember. When I see a gift they gave me, I remember why and when. I don't want to get rid of those memories. Good memories are what they are, good.

I have a couple boxes of scraps, an old one and a new one. Things I've saved over the years of special or significant events in my life. I plan to put those, along with old photos in a scrapbook or three, along with journaling and embellishing. To someone who doesn't understand what they are, they are just a box of junk. To me, they are memories and I'd like someday for my children and grandchildren to be able to share in my memories, whether I am alive or not.